May: Life is just a bowl of cherries

or a chair of bowlies?

Soup: This tortilla soup is yum yum and easy

Book: The Source, a book on the science behind manifestation. Written by Neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart.

Movie: Amelie ooh la la. I have been really inspired by red and green lately and forever.

Beauty Product: Silk Scrunchies! They don’t leave dents in your hair like normal elastics. Especially great if you’re a curly girl, I sleep with a silk scrunchie high pony at night to preserve my curls structure.

Fave thing: My favorite suitcase from Hanke, I am actually so obsessed with this suitcase. It opens trunk style instead of hamburger style and it fits a lot. It’s also on sale right now.

Song: Reject by Alice Faye

This past month I tried to make 10k in May. If you follow my Tik Tok you will have seen some info about this. Ultimately, spoiler, I did not make 10k. But I’ll tell you how much I did make, and what I learned in challenging myself to this seemingly lofty goal.

Delusion, my favorite place to start and end any conversation. I firmly believe in order to create anything big for yourself, or anything outside the realm of possibility within the confines of your stubbornly rigid mind, you have to be a little deluded. You have to stretch your imagination. Keep one foot firmly planted in reality sure, don’t sell all your stuff and move to Nashville on a rucksack and a dream to be a famous guitarist, with 0 knowledge of how to play guitar other than a high score on guitar hero. Maybe start with some guitar lessons. But you have to reach outside of the realm of what has previously been seen and experienced in your life. I set out to make an additional 10k in one month, outside of my normal monthly income, something I’ve never come close to. Though I didn’t make that much, I made almost 2k. Which is actually a pretty big deal! And I realized that I love money and I want more of it. I’m going to continue to stretch myself and put myself out there in ways that feel uncomfortable. If you want to see a little bit of what I did to try to achieve that, you can find my Tik Tok HERE. No telling what else you may find there, my Tik Tok is unpredictable and even I don’t know what will come out of my mouth next.

An Anais Nin quote always comes to mind when I start to feel like I’m outgrowing my situation, but I’m timid when it comes to making change.

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

Self Sabotage and Perfectionism. I finished an online portfolio, but I couldn’t send it to any companies or brands. I started making up excuses like, “oh I don’t like the style”, or “actually I think I should remake it on a different platform”. I realized that these are tools I use to self sabotage. The reasons we self sabotage can range anywhere from fear of failure, to fear of success. I’ve put myself out there in so many ways, started so many new ventures and ideas that eventually lose their sparkle, or don’t pan out how I imagined and I give up on them. So I don’t think it’s failure I’m afraid of, or being seen trying, but I think I am afraid of succeeding. I’m afraid of the commitment and the responsibility of having something take off, I’m afraid of the expectations that could be placed on me. But then again maybe that ultimately circles back to fear of not meeting those expectations, thus “failing”? I’m thinking out loud. There is still much to be discovered.

Anywho dee doo, I hope this ignites a little fire in your belly to stretch your imagination, to wish upon a star, to dip a toe into unfamiliar waters. Cause you know what they (I) say, “every time you wish upon a star and then take actionable baby steps toward that wish, a pig gets its wings.” You can quote me on that.

Xoxo, Emily

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