31 doesn’t look like I thought it would

puppets, texting thumb?

31 doesn’t look like I thought it would. According to a 6th grade mash game I was supposed to be married with 4 kids, a mansion and my dream car at the time, a silver PT Cruiser. I also thought I’d be a ballet dancer in the New York City Ballet, or a famous musician playing sold out shows.

But here I am not married, no children or pets, partially unemployed with a thumb injury from too much phone use, and thinking about getting deeply into puppetry or mask making. There are times when I feel so behind in life, and I look at other people my age who have full blown careers, they are buying vehicles or homes. They are having dinner parties and using matching cutlery and they can decipher the notes in wines. Meanwhile I’m here in an animal onesie, taking one bite out of every chocolate and putting them back in the box. Sampling many of life’s exquisite gifts. Some people my age are running their third marathon or achieving big athletic feats, I’m running to the art store to buy a miniature canvas because I suddenly felt an insatiable desire to paint a tiny painting of a tiny bee, and put it on a tiny easel.

I tried to take a more traditional path, I was going to finish school and be an art history professor. But I spent so much time exploring one thing, then diverting to another, and another. A gallery full of shiny carrots shimmering in my periphery…I was a ballet dancer, a musician, then I was a children’s book illustrator. I got certified in reiki and energy medicine, learned tarot, then studied mediumship in a woman’s living room. Then I discovered I liked graphic design, so I did a two year program, then web design, then video editing, pottery and printmaking.

Jill of all trades, master of none right? But  remember the lesser known part of that phrase? Often times better than a master of one. I have a lot of random, some now useless certifications, but I gained a lot of life experience and I have interesting stories to share. Sometimes I can be so critical of my history, and think I’ve wasted time. But is there really such a thing as wasting time? I decided to look at experiences in a new light.. did this experience make a good story? Did it advance my characters development?

So I wanted to try all of the chocolates in the box, and still do. Because what if I take a bite of one chocolate and I’m stuck eating the entire piece, when there is a better suited chocolate for my tastes, waiting for me in the box. There is so much to see and learn in the world, and while I know I can’t do everything at once, I can do some things. So I will continue to yearn for new experiences, because that is what lights me up, that is what ignites my chocolate nibbling heart.

But when I look at my life realistically, theres not that much I would change. My biggest value is the freedom to do what I want with my time. Owning my own home or buying a brand new car won’t really make me feel like I’ve made it. I think I’ll really feel like I’ve made it when I have reached a point where I have the freedom to create what I want when I want, on my own time and schedule, without the pressure of having to create for financial gain. And when I’ve published books inspired by all of the stories I’ve had the privilege of experiencing. That’s what I’m truly working toward. And I’m inching a teeny bit closer everyday.

I’ve put together some of the things I’d go and experience if I had deeper pockets. I would travel around going to unique classes and taking courses in different parts of the world. Nibble on these…

1. Ballymaloe Cookery School

Ballymaloe is a cooking school based in County Cork, Ireland. They have short term and long term courses. The school is on a beautiful estate on a farm and gardens, ooh la la!

2. The Centre for Magic and Esotericism at University of Exeter

Magic and esotericism? Occult studies? Yes please, my witchy soul yearns!

From the website: “Topics of research include, but are not limited to, witchcraft, Western Esotericism, Occult texts in Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, European folklore, magic in Greece and Rome, and the history of science and medicine.”

The University of Exeter is in the Southwestern part of England.

3. Arthur Findlay College

Arthur Findlay is a school in England for psychic sciences. You can take psychic and mediumship courses! SpOoOooky!

4. Archery Class in the Highlands

Learn archery in the highlands of Scotland with scenic views? Count me in.

5. Art retreat in Italy

Paint in the Tuscan countryside. Retreats in portrait, figurative, and landscape painting and drawing. Paint me like one of your French girls.

Thanks for reading dolls,

Xoxo, Emily

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